I officially have to say.....I HATE potty training....
I loathe it.....
I have no idea how any of us adults walk around without wearing adult sized diapers....
I think my parents were geniuses.....or magicians.....
because I HAVE no idea how they did it.....
My mom always relays the story that I was such a hard child to potty train....and then on my third birthday....I just decided I'd sit on the potty....and go.....no more diapers....
Yeah.....either time has dulled her memory on what actually happened....or she's had one too many glasses of wine, because I can't for the life of me see that any toddler could just one day say...."okay....I'd rather wipe my own tush, than have you do it"....
With Noah....for the last year...
I've bribed
I've cajoled
I've begged
I've pleaded
I've threatened....
I've thrown a mini peepee party in the bathroom, with party horns and confetti.
I've allowed him to have his favorite blow pops at 9 AM because he used the potty.
I've been at this so long, that yesterday while on the phone with my husband, I mentioned how we were out of Tinkle Paper.....
He asked where in Target do you find that?
My Absolute favorite....is now Mr. Smarty Pants, has learned that he can use the potty as a means of prolonging bedtime.....I can say no to Drinks, 5 extra books, or a late night snack....but when he says he has to potty...be it once or for the 13 hundredth time.....I'll let him go.....
The only thing right now that is keeping me from throwing in the towel and saying....go ahead...be the only kid in 5th grade to wear Diapers...if they even make them that size.....is that I will have a moment, where the clouds will part, and the sun shines....as I did yesterday, when Noah actually ran into the bathroom, moved his little stool, climbed on....and proceeded to pee on his foot....but.....
he did go on his own...
Then this morning....as he's running by me.....I catch a whiff of what he's packing, and realize we are back to square one......
sigh
Potty training is the bane of my existence....it has given me 3, no 4 gray hairs.....right in front mind you.....
and has made me a nervous wreck as Preschool starts....next week....
and we are no where near Undies Ready.....
Though I do have a bunch of super adorable Lightening McQueen Briefs waiting for him in his drawer.....
If there is any advice that perhaps you don't find in any parenting book....
and doesn't involve Cheerios, m and ms....or kitchen timers....
I will forever be grateful....
I'm running out of wine......and hair dye......
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