Monday, November 10, 2008

Do you Have a Plan D??? I don't....and I should....

I love writing my posts where I inject a little bit of my strange, not quite dry...but not quite wet type of humour....(notice I say humour in that oh so Chic European way....kind of like Eddie Izzard who so elequently put....it's pronounced herbs (like her-bs) because there's a F@#king h in it...)

But this.....Is not one of those posts.....(I may try at the end)

So I figured this weekend would be just like any other weekend that Daddy (Juice) is gone....cleaning the house here....going and seeing Santa there....pureeing some fabulous Gourmet Baby food on Sunday....maybe a nap....a walk to the park...yada yada yada....what I didn't expect....a first class ride on the ambulance to my local hospital.....let me double check my to do list...nope ambulance ride...definitely not there....



Being a mommy....I figured I was ahead of the game by making my contigency plan of who would take care of Noah if something should happen to me and Juice or me or Juice...especially being so far from family...we really needed those few important people that would be there in case of an emergency....So plan A)....Daddy or I would be the responsible party for pooh....Plan B) our Friends R and B would be our backup....Plan C) our Fabulous Neighbor R squared would take over....covered right???....probably should have come up with plan D.....


So...the whole reason for this???...Sunday after a leisurely morning of playtime..and naps....I fed Pooh lunch and started cleaning up...I began to get this horrible headache...the kind where you feel your heart beating behind your eyeballs....so I took some advil...and figured it would go away...well not ten minutes later...I became super nauseated...and my hands and feet began to tingle...(like when they are falling asleep)...not good....so I decided I'd pack Pooh up and head over to the hospital...just to be safe...because I was just feeling worse and worse...and it was coming on fast....


Well, before I could even say hand me the Vicodin....I felt like I was going to pass out...so I put Pooh down...and my hands began to freeze up...the muscles in my arms and hands and feet contracted...and my throat began to feel tight...so I decided I had to call 911....which freaked me out...this is only the second time in my whole life I've had to call 911 and the first time was for a drunk driver I saw swearving in front of me on the highway....


So I'm trying to explain to the operator my condition....while my heart is pounding out of my chest (picture looney toons)....and my arms are cramped up like someone with horrible arthritis...and I can't pick up pooh...and I can't walk...and I'm stuck in my basement...


What seemed like forever...the paramedics finally come...(in reality only 4 minutes)....after they tried unsuccessfuly to get in my upstairs door....(the one time I lock it during the day)....so I roll out my sliding glass door to the back and yell for them...and they come around the back...and strap me in....my neighbor Dan....who bless his heart was mowing his yard when he sees me rolling myself out my door....(later he tells me he was really wondering if I had resorted to getting drunk during the day...ha I only wish).....


So...as they are wheeling me up my back yard....they ask me the inevitable question...(one of the paramedics is holding pooh)...who can take your son???>....Well..Plan A)...daddy....nope Plan B) R and B....well would be great...but I'm puppy sitting their dog elle until that afternoon as they fly back from Pittsburg...so nope...Plan C) neighbor R squared across the street...well she went out of town for the weekend with her kids...so uh oh....who does that leave???


It left Bless his heart Neighbor Dan who has never...and I repeat NEVER been around a child who couldn't wipe their own tushies....so you can imagine.....I'm more nervous about how he is...rather than the state that I am in.... I'm thinking...he doesn't know where the bottles are,....does his diaper need changing....can he figure out how to get the food cubes defrosted without getting them too hot....(heck I'm the type that asks for multiple refrences before I leave Pooh with anyone for even 10 minutes)....so this was beyond my scope of reasoning....wayyy beyond....



So after tests and cat scans...it is determined that my little lone Parathyroid (a glad on the side of your thyroid that turns the calcium you ingest into blood calcium...and super important for your body...) had decided to just stop working.....which I'm not surprised....you have 4 in total...but having had Thyroid Cancer...they removed the Thyroid and three of my Parathyroids...that left one very lonely...very bruised and battered Parathyroid....(it was like that old Pontiac in the driveway that you don't know why it still runs..but you are really glad it does)....





So I became HypoCalcemic...and was going into shock...which is super bad juju..


Luckily during this time...I had left a message for R and B...who sped all the way from the airport to my house to take over the caring of Pooh....

they said that when the walked in the door...Dan was holding Pooh in that way that people who have never held babies before do...and he had tried to successfuly change a wet diaper...(he gets an A for effort).....Bless his heart....and I was told that Pooh was just having grand ole time...and was happy to being hanging out with Dan....so obviously though inexperienced...he did a great job....

SO after a long 7 hours in the ER...I finally was able to go back home and snuggle with my Pooh....and I thanked God that everything did fall into place so that I could get better and have Pooh taken care of....and Poor Daddy.....he is so upset that he wasn't here to take care of his family....


but it made me decide while baking Neighbor Dan a Butt-load of homemade cookies...not only have a Plan D...but a Plan E, F and G...and maybe an H just for good measure....

How many plans do you have????? I would suggest have a lot...or get a Dan....(Bless His Heart)

15 comments:

Mac and Cheese said...

Holy crap! Glad you're ok now. The funny thing is that your health was clearly your secondary concern, despite your pain.

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Oh, my gosh you have really got me thinking. I don't think we have an actual plan at all...I better get on that.

CC said...

OMG!!!!!!!! I'm reading this in horror and imagining everything happening here. My husband gets suicide headaches that make him unable to function and although it isn't shock, I suppose anything is possible. Aaack! We have no family in the whole state! What would we do???! I need a plan D. Thank you!!!!!!!

Lilly's Life said...

Oh my gosh you poor thing, Thats is horrible. This is a really improtatnpost when you think aobut it for any parent with kids. What a lovely neighbour you have though. Oh I bet he was feeling desperate... I truly hope you are ok.

Toots said...

Wow! That must have been scary! I'm glad to hear that it all went well in the end . . . come to think of it we should come up with a plan A - H (did you say all the way to H, yikes)! Good idear! And while I was concerned for your health during this post, I did find myself laughing at (your not-so-dry, not-so-wet) "goldy locks" humor (get it, "just right" humor). Okay . . . feel better! :-)

Dorsey said...

YIKES!! Super scary!! Luckily my kiddos are old enough to care for themselves in the event of me or their father not being home. But God Bless the Dans of this world!! Thank you, Dan!!!

mommaof4wife2r said...

what in the world...that's about all i can come up with. i have many plans too, but all mine fell through too last year when i needed them as well...sometimes mediocre is the best you can do. now, i am looking for j,k,l,m and n for plans. with all 4 of my kids, there's not enough plans!!! prayers for u too...i'm w/o hubs this week too and 2 of the 4 are sick...but it's managable...i mean, who needs sleep?

kjamama said...

I'm just glad you're ok! :) I'm glad you have some nice 'neighbours'! I would have loved to see Dan's face when he was changing Pooh's diaper!! lol! Love you!

Grand Pooba said...

Crazy girl! I couldn't stop reading, I am glad you are okay now but geeze! That scares the crap outa me.

Hmmm, my plans...lets see there's A) None B) Nada C) Zilch so I guess I should have a plan D too.

(Maybe I'll get some plans when I have children :)

connie said...

I am loving your Neighbor Dan. How lucky that he was there! Glad you're OK, too, because that is some serious health problem you had!

SWC said...

Scary and very glad that you are okay. Three Chrees for Dan!

Thanks for giving me something to think about. I have not thought of a plan B or C let alone a D.

And thanks for filling my daily dose of Ingrid Michaelson.

Rachel said...

omg. that is so crazy. i am really glad you are ok.

and shit, shit , shit, I totally don't have a plan B.

Jaden Paige said...

OMG I am so happy that you are okay! I can only imagine how scary it must have been....

I <3 Eddie Izzard, btw, and pretty much noone I have talked to knows who he is!
Glad to finally come across someone else who does- great minds think- and laugh- alike, I guess!

Yeah, I definitely need to make some of those things... what are they called again? Oh. Right. Back up plans. Heh.

april kennedy said...

OMGOsh...I am so glad you are ok.

I am finally catching up on blogs after 6 day camping trip...too long to be away from a computer!

Aubrey said...

Ok. You totally have me freaked out. I need to get my plans, plural, PLANS together.
I am SO glad you are ok now. And I got the greatest visual of neighbor Dan. LOL