Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Glad but Sad Heart....



...have I had today....

I had planned on writing this first post about some awards that I have been so extremely blessed with....I had planned on writing about how I was going to actually space all 5 of them out...so every buddy that had blessed me with one...would get an equal moment in the sun to shine....I was so excited....how wonderful that 5 different equally fabulous ladies...think I am someone that is special....we all like to get that warm fuzzy feeling.....and I thank them so much...


However....my sad heart is requesting that I just put off giving my thanks for just one more day....and today...my sad heart gets it's wish....


I was asked if I would help a fellow spouse by preparing a meal for her and her family....Her husband who is a fellow ssgt. with Juice...was fighting cancer...and unfortunately the battle looked to be a losing one....It would be the absolute least I could do....and I hoped I could possibly do more...to help ease some of her burden...


It is a sad irony...that on my day to help deliver a bit of cheer and encouragement...is the day we learn that her husband has passed away....I have to say it may have been the most important meal I have ever prepared....


What do you say...when "I'm sorry" seems almost ....impersonal.....when I know it won't ease her pain....the whole drive from my home to base housing...I would try and come up with something that would sound genuine....and meaningful....and hopefully somewhat comforting....


And in the end...it was Pooh...who really did it....as I was holding him...and giving her the bag of goodies I had made....she looked at him...and he waved is crazy baby wave....and smiled his big toothy smile....


and she smiled.....a real smile....and said..."he is amazing isn't he."

It took me aback for a moment...but I said...."yes he is..."....and for an instant....I think maybe....she didn't think about the ache in her heart....Good Job Pooh....


It is in times like this...where I have a hard time...understanding why god chooses who he does...when he does.
The Hurt that is left behind... doesn't seem just...or reasonable...for him to take this man...and leave a wife and two children...one who has Spina Bifida....where in the bigger picture does this fit in???

take me....I was going through a divorce...and battling cancer...all at the same time....and I was thinking...God....why on earth would you let both of these things happen at the same time....or could you have made one just not hurt so bad????


In the end ....after the storm had past....and I had emerged on the otherside...I was different...and I was blessed....blessed to have so many things in my life....besides the obvious...of my health....and definitely blessed to have overcome both....


It allowed me to see how important things are like backbones....and moments.....loved ones.....and taking chances.....how living....is so much better than existing....

and I learned that blessings and hardships are not mutually exclusive of one another...


I hope she will one day see....the blessings that will come....


You only have to look at Pooh....to see how wonderful those blessings truly can be...


It's amazing isn't it.....


and both my sad and glad heart responds...


It is....it truly, truly is.....

18 comments:

Shalee- Be Speechless said...

Beautiful post.

Thank you

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Just know that I am giving you a big squeeze from here! In your own way, you did deliever cheer and encouragement, to us and her. What a kind way to be a good friend to her and us!

TuTu's Bliss said...

A stunning tribute to the things that matter most. Hugs and love. Jen

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

It is hard to know what will comfort someone in such a hard time. The innocense of a child usually does the trick. How could you not smile back a baby. I'm not sure if there is anything you can say to make someone in that situation feel any better, you just do what you can.

Aubrey said...

Wow. What an amazingly touching post. Brought tears to my eyes. I will be praying for that family tonight!

Maven said...

What an amazing blog - thankyou.

Carolyn Jess-Cooke said...

What a wonderful post. You did my heart good.

I've a blog award for you - come get it!
xx

ashleefay4806 said...

What a lovely-sad post. Just goes to show how much we should appreciate life and the little things..

I left an award for you on my Blog!
Check it out :)

BIG Hugs!!!

Cindy said...

Thank God for our children. Somehow they always manage to help us in the best ways.

Thinking of you :)

Jaden Paige said...

What a wonderful post this was... Brought tears to my eyes. I feel for your friend, and my thoughts will be with her and her family today.

On The Verge said...

This is a truly beautiful post.

TurtleMommy said...

wow! So sorry to hear about your friends husband, its always hard loosing someone! =[

how have you been? haven't talked to you in forever!! do you still do etsy?

again, sorry to hear about your friend! Hugs to all!!!

April said...

That was beautiful! God always has a perfect plan even when we cannot understand it. I will say a special prayer for your friend today!

CC said...

I can feel your pain through this post. And I am sad with you all :(

Nana said...

Life carries us on many roads. You were there to help your friend, sometimes that is enough, no words need to be said.

{april kennedy} said...

My heart is aching for them too just from your post. Mention Spina Bifida, which hits too close to home for me, and I start blubbering.

Beautiful post....thanks for sharing.

kjamama said...

That is so sad. :( You were a good friend to just be there for her. I can't imagine what that would be like....I am sending many good thoughts her way. You are such a brave person, I am so proud of you and what you have accomplished. I love you!

God's Not Finished With Us Yet... said...

Thanks for viewing and leaving a comment on my blog....I'm still lost on how to homeschool my kindergartner....you'd think it'd be so easy, but it's her future you know??

Love your post here; it's so bittersweet! Such a nice and special way to be there for someone else, and I'm sure she loves you for being there for her.