Monday, February 16, 2009

Mommy Blind Date....with Joaquin Phoenix




A mommy Blind Date....what new Stay At Home Moms are subjected to....due to the fact that most of their Pre-baby friends feel that the commonalities are slipping away...and they are sick and tired of one sided discussions on breast feeding....homemade baby food...and diaper rashes....

I have a particularly solitary existence since my transistion from working woman...to at home working woman of the motherly kind....Moving from Arizona to New Jersey....and working 40 miles from my home (and working a lot)...most of my colleagues that I would normally go have drinks and what not with....lived close to work...and being that I want to get home...and have time with my spouse....I would skip most after work social functions....so my friend making sessions...were null and void.....

Not to say we haven't met any friends....we have a wonderful couple that are fred and ethel to our Lucy and Desi....and they LOVE pooh to distraction...but I need Mommy Friends....Really...Truly...I need someone I can speak mommy language...who understands late nights...and even later days....who sympathizes with colic and teething....

So I've joined online mommy groups....and have found a few moms who I've clicked with...one I am lucky enough to have become friends with....her husband has the same job as Juice and was actually deployed with Juice over the holidays....

But as I am a social butterfly...I am always looking for more friends to surround myself with...especially when Juice is away...and I am lonely for companionship....

Enter....Joaquin Phoenix....I'll call her JP.....I met JP through my mommy group...we have children about same age...she lives close by...is a full time SAHM....a year older ....I feel we have a lot in common...should be a kismit....I see lots of play dates...and mall walks in our future...

So after my normal...nerves as I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant where we are meeting for lunch....I quickly get a huge sense of what this "mommy date" is going to be like...

I approach....

me: Hi JP....It's really Nice to finally meet you
JP:..Yeah

Me: I hope you haven't waited long
JP: Nope

Me: How's your week been so far
JP: Eh...

We sit down to eat...

Me: How's everything with the baby
JP: He's good...teething

Me: Everything Okay?
JP: Yeah Why?

Um I don't know....I think I would get more out of a mime right now.....

Now the entirety of the conversation.....from ordering to eating to paying....I think she maybe said an entire sentence...once....no wait...that was her 12 month old...and it was in jibberish....

actually I enjoyed talking with our waitress more....

I was like is it me?....Is it her?......Did I miss something?....Have Aliens come down and sucked out her brain...?....I think I actually looked outside just to make sure there wasn't an unidentified object waiting to snag me as we left....

I even try to insert some humour into the situation....yeah...that went over like a fart in church....

It was excruciating....and I think I am a pretty laid back...go with the flow....who gives type of person....hell I belch at the most inopportune times...so propriety is not always on the top of my list

I can tell you....I was never so glad in my life...to get into my car and drive home to an afternoon of just me and the little man....and the first thing I did...call my girlfriend and tell her how much I appreicate her....and she talked my ear off...and it was amazing....

Lord have mercy.....



17 comments:

April said...

That's hilarious! Happy Monday!

Connie Weiss said...

That is painful!!

I don't know if it is just me...but I feel like I do way too much talking sometimes. I don't like to beg people to volunteer information about themselves but I also don't like to just sit there looking at each other.

Good Luck finding more Mommy friends. I have found it to be a little difficult.

Dorkys Ramos said...

Yipes! I'm so sorry this one was a bust. And I can imagine what it must feel like to lose that closeness with your non-mommy friends. I have a few who've had their little ones and it's true: all they talk about is how they just made stinky and now it's time to go feed/burp/change them. Love them anyway and understand that they just want someone to talk to as well.

With that, I should go call my girl and catch up :)

Hope your search gets loads better (and I heard about that hilarious interview last week!! Thanks for the video!)

Aubrey said...

Wow.
Painful is an understatement! Makes me wonder why they would even agree to a "mommy date" in the first place!
Sorry to hear it was such a bust. LOL

Being a SAHM, I find it hard to connect with other mommies too. Good friends are hard to find!

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Well that's no fun! So did she converse more online, was that what had you fooled? Isn't it funny how it's almost harder to make friends as we get older than it was when we were younger?

Bee and Rose said...

Awkward! What has happened to Joaquin Phoenix???

I have done the uncomfortable "mommy" date thing too. It really does make me appreciate my "real" friends!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Oh my goodness. You and I must have been channeling one another. I wrote a similar post on Friday. Finding another Mom who is the "right fit" for you is near impossible, isn't it? It love that you and I share the same opinion. Thank goodness for blogging, right? Us Mom's with similar opinions have to stick together.

I left you a bit of link love on our blog today. If you are interested, check it out. You'll just have to figure out which link is yours, which hopefully should not be too hard!

http://3baybchicks.blogspot.com/2009/02/really-25.html

-Francesca

Michaela said...

Wow - that sounds like it was a nightmare. I had a similar conversation with an old college the other day - it was just awkward... the funny thing is that she had called me.
Good luck finding new Mommy friends!

Jeauxdi said...

I have the same problem...But mine is on the flip side...And PLEASE NO ONE take this the wrong way. I am in need of a non mommy friend...Lovie and I can't have babies and I feel so OUT OF THE LOOP when mommies start talking mommy jargon =0( I get alll nervous and palms start sweating...UGH! I love my friends kids, I trest them as my own SPOIL them rotten because I CAN! HAHA
But feel lost...

Hope you find a friend to relate to! Hope all is going well with your pea pod, your lil one and you Juice! Have a great night!

XOXO

P.S. Here is a sprinkle is pixie dust for you to find a good mommy friend~~~~~~***

Lisa M said...

Hey fellow Welcomista!

This post is soo funny! I'm sorry you had to waste your time, but it made for a great blog post lol.

I feel the same way about friends. I need more friends. I have a few really good friends, but none of them are friends I can do anything with. We click on some things and on others.. well lets just say I'm sure they think I'd just fell off the back of a truck headed for the looney bin ;)

I guess I should join a mommy group myself.

P.S. I gave your google ads some clicky love!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

For What It's Worth, I totally get you. I make tons of friends online, but can't seem to get a REAL LIFE person to talk to me. Except my kids, who talk without end.

I have one girlfriend who called me, FINALLY, without me calling her first. She left a message, so I immediately called her back (got her machine). To which she called me back and left a message: "Oh I was just calling because I heard you needed to sell some girl scout cookies. I don't need any but wanted to just help you out. I don't need anything. You don't need to call me back." Um, okay, so you don't want to talk to me? Gee, thanks.

And, if you are looking for a group, try www.meetup.com It has groups to check out - any kind of group you want - mommy groups, art groups, exercise groups, etc. Whatever you're looking for, the group will be listed there. It has helped me a lot. GOod Luck!

Alison said...

Ha! I have had this happen. Its the worst. Thanks for sharing; I think we've all been there in some capacity. Also, thank you for the welcome comment you left me. :)

Wild Child said...

It's so hard to meet new people. Try being a stay at home dad, like my hubby. He did a good job, he joined a playgroup at the local library and not only did he hit if off with the moms, but also the husbands, and I hit it off with the moms. Hang in there and thanks for stopping by from SITS.

Xazmin said...

That's so funny! I too like to talk, and when I'm with someone not holding up their end of the conversation I fell like I totally overcompensate and talk non-stop!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

kel said...

I know I am strange, but I love awkward moments like that. I just find them hilarious. That whole "crickets" thing just cracks me up. Usually in situations like that, I just end up laughing like a mad man.. which of course, makes things more awkward..

LenaLoo said...

Wow, tell me it wasn't really that bad... I think I have the oppisite problem... Almost all my friends are Mommies, and I am not... I want to be though... As for the Facebook Notes, you have to click on the profile tab and then you can write a note (ie: a blog post in Facebook)... When you click to write a new note there should be a box in the right hand area that says something about "import notes from another blog" then just follow it's instructions :)

Joelle said...

Oh man! Kudos for doing it - but man sounds painful! May the future look brighter in the meeting more verbos mommy friends! Thanks for stopping by my blog and the clicky love! Here to return the favor. :)