Friday, March 27, 2009

Have you Seen.....



My sexiness......? I can't seem to find it anywhere....I know it was right here about 2 years ago....It was here long enough to help facilitate a Pooh invasion......but as soon as he showed up.....

Sexiness just left.....


I've tried asking nicely for it to come back.....demanding.....pleading.....with no response...not even a letter or phone call.....



I've bought enough Victoria's Secret Underwear to host my own fashion show on TV....strutted around my full length mirror in booty shorts....(much to Juice's enjoyment)...trying to see if I can see my sexiness returning......


This should be evident by the "oh Yeah" I tell myself....but all I emit is a "um no way"....and change into non-sexy relevant attire....(sweats)


I think I have to resort to some drastic measures at this point.....namely the TAPS Ghost hunting Crew, Big Foot Investigators...and those who swear they have found the Loch Ness Monster....Cause I have a feeling finding my sexiness will be just as elusive....


I've even printed out Reward Posters...for anyone who can safely return my sexiness to me....Juice says he's on that one...and that he's the only one who's gonna get anywhere near my rewards....(flattery gets you everywhere)....and, just to prove his point...and help flush Sexy out, he bought me a new swim suit to wear to the shore this summer....and hopefully put my reclaimed sexy out on display....



I feel I am still optimistic about my sexiness coming back...even with the return of adolescent Acne...that I had forgotten about for 12 years....and that I still can't seem to get more than my big toe in my pre-Pooh Jeans....


When my elusive Sexiness does finally give up the fight...and come home where it belongs....we will sit down and have a nice little chat over on why Motherhood and Sexy can Co-exist quite happily.....(preferably over martinis)



heck....Motherhood couldn't even happen without The Sexy right?.....now all together now....rrriiiggghhttt. Very Good.....


Now if only....I could just find it......harumph....

24 comments:

Urban Earthworm said...

I can feel you on this search. Work has been sending my sexy into hiding. I wish I could offer suggestions, but I'm sure you've heard it all before.

I will send you my best wishes in your search. I'll keep my eyes open for you.

Unknown said...

I feel your pain. My sexy left four kids ago and I can't convince her to come home.

Lydia

Nicole O'Dell said...

Oh, honey, if you find yours, look fom mine somewhere over there, too. Sheesh, I'm afraid it's gone forever!

Gretchen said...

Seriously, you need to listen to "one hot mama" by Trace Adkins. YOu will appreciate it. So will Juice.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

Oh, I am LAUGHING! Can you hear me??

This is SERIOUS business!!! That sexy WILL come back, although I know it to be QUITE stubborn and willful!...add a seductive song and a martini and I think you will be in Bid-Ness!

Fellow SITS girl,
Jill

Unknown said...

My sexy was fine until I had my son and a hysterectomy.. I don't know if sexy will ever come back to my house :(

Bethany said...

I hear ya! My sexy left years ago and I aint seen her since.

If I find yours I'll send her your way. Do the same for me, would ya?

Michelle said...

Great post!

A lot of mom's feel the same way you do. It will come back, work on it, give it some more time.

Anonymous said...

I just bought a bunch of new sexy, matching bras and panties. That seems to help.

I've also started taking a few more breaks on the weekends and hanging out with friends. I finally feel a bit like my pre-baby self.

Good luck finding your sexiness.

Green said...

Yeah my sexy left 22 years ago...it pops out at times...

Anonymous said...

haha that is hilarious :)

Mom said...

When you find it --- please let me know. I would like to find mine, too.

Reeni said...

Mom's are sexy, too, just in a different way than before!

Nana said...

Maybe it's under the bed.

Dagmar said...

Ha, I like your writing! Very funny. I feel the same way about sexy, which isn't funny...
Thanks for advertising on my blog :) Let me know if you want to exchange links.

Connie said...

I have been trying to bring sexy back for about a year now and I'm not finding it in the boxes of Haggen Daz Ice Cream Bars....

Aunt Julie said...

I lost mine a while ago...but Moker doesn't seem to mind!

Mommyof2girlz/StephD said...

Thanks for stopping by SITSta. I love this post about sexiness. I've been trying to get mine to come back this past year but alas I just don't see it happening anytime soon :)

Cat Russell said...

I do feel ur pain.. My Hollister jeans helped out..Caught a glimpse of her passing by me in the mirror..

Enjoy ur day, SITSta..

Unknown said...

happens to the sexiest of people. ;)

Heather said...

Maybe it eloped with mine.

Unknown said...

If you find your sexy, can you please check and see if it's having a fun time with mine, mine went missing a while back too!
Whats sad though is that the VS catalog screamed at me last time I wanted to look thru it, I swear I heard it say "Lady you are not putting THAT in THESE!" ;)

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

Did you call Justin Timberlake? He's always singing about bringin' his sexy back...maybe your sexy is with his sexy...just sayin..

(It will come back...don't worry! It's probably on a little va-cay...but will return in full force soon!)

Elizabeth Howard said...

Too funny! Great post. Keep em coming.