Wednesday, October 14, 2009
All I can say is..."Thank you Dr. Phil". I was sitting here today, thinking that I really had nothing that I felt like blogging about, and that my creative juice bottle was looking about as empty as the milk jug and egg carton in the fridge. Though I doubt my grocery store could help me out with giving me blogging fodder...
Oh wait...yes it can.
However, today...I was saved by Dr. Phil, who so elequently donated an hour of his time to discuss the very real...and sometimes very gruesome war that centers around Mommyhood. To be a Working mom, or a Stay At Home Mom...that is the question...and if you get it wrong...be prepared for a barrage of either pacifiers or pay stubs being flung in your direction.
I have to admit...I was in a way surprised, in that I felt like it did end up being a little bit of a one sided issue...with the working mom team getting more of postive spin,....while the Stay At Home Mom example was the mom who came off as Crass and Judgemental. They did have Dooce there to be the middle ground, and in my eyes, almost a voice of reason.
I found myself actually talking out loud during the whole show...like when one mom said she was able to work and pick her kids up from school...because she worked from 10 until 3. Holy Crap Batman, if I could find a job that I could work from 10-3, I would jump on that like tween girls on Justin Beiber.
My decision to become a Stay At Home mom, is both one of necessity and personal choice. I am lucky that my husband makes enough money to support this family, for the job I had, was not one that worked well with my Husband deploying for months on end. First I worked 40 miles from home, through Philadelphia traffic which usually meant I had to leave at 5:30 am, and most days saw me home no earlier than 6:45. Then of course I would have the at least one day a week where I would need to be there in the evenings, not making it home until 10:30 or 11.
Now I could have pulled myself up by my bootstraps, and said so what if you only see your baby for 20 minutes or so after work, before he goes to bed. Or don't worry if your morning interaction is conducted in a car on the way to daycare. I made the decision after 2 weeks of being back in the workforce, that I didn't want my son to have 2 absent parents.
I can tell you, there are many days I have told my husband I would give up pedicures forever to trade places with him. I LOVED working, I loved the interactons, the challenges, the PAY CHECK. I didn't get a bachelors degree just to stay at home....I could have gone on a killer vacation instead....or saved the money for future therapy. It was not an easy decision, as it has cut our finances in half, and the luxuries we were able to afford before, we now have to pass on.
I do feel that it gives me personally a better, closer and more stable home life for my son. He already has a father who leaves every 5 or 6 months to go to a war zone, and this will continue for the forseeable future. I felt, and still feel, that he needs me to be there as his sense of security and peace.
I feel that there are a variety of reasons why the Stay At Home Mom population chooses to do so, especially this day and age, when independence in women is so important, and almost seen as necessary. I think most of these reasons were probably taken very seriously and are just as valid as many reasons many women stay in the work force...
My position on the whole war is that I'm going to be Switzerland....Whatever you feel is in the best interest of your family....do it...I'm not here to throw stones...heaven knows I live in a glass castle...I'm just here to do what I feel is best for my family...and I know so many of you are doing the same...whether it be as a working mom....or a stay at home one.
I think I'll just keep dodging the paystubs and pacifiers....while waving my white flag.