31...and Counting

It's funny how Everyone makes a Big Deal out of the Big 3-0....To me, it's actually still an ok birthday....your smack dab in the middle....straddling equally 20 and 40....with a good decade between.....



31......that is when it all changes.....I woke up this morning realizing that this is the first day that I am OFFICIALLY closer to being 40 than being 20.....and oh is that a grey hair to prove it?



I thought in honor of this momentous occasion....I would look fondly back on the last decade or so....and write down for posterity all the things that I've learned....NOT TO DO......



1) Read the Instructions on the Hair Bleaching Bottle BEFORE using.....



2) Make sure to bring GUM after eating a garlic filled lunch....right before a JOB interview.



3) Never Forget to do a DOUBLE check of your grocery cart before leaving the parking lot...therefore eliminating the possibility of getting home and realizing ALL of your groceries are still in the cart....



4) DON'T get into a verbal debate with a Check out Person in NJ over the price of a watermelon....trust me...no matter what, you'll LOSE!



5) If you are going to completely destroy your front bumper by curbing it....make sure your husband ISN'T present.



6) If you are not mechanically inclined....visiting LOWES once to learn how to install a kitchen sink will NOT miraculously turn you into Ms. Plumber....you still will have NO freaking clue.



7) Taking your husband to get His Favorite Chili Dogs BEFORE going to the Play you wanted to see....NOT a very good IDEA!

8) Make sure you take that extra pair of clothes for your child...even at the expense of your make-up bag! That WILL be the one time your child has a blow-out of MASS proportions!


Oh the Things I've learned NOT TO DO are far more numerous than 8....however I think I've embarrased myself quite enough for one Birthday....